As long as you make decisions based on whether someone else will be offended or pissed off, you’re a slave to approval. And just as bad: you can’t blame the other for it.
~ “He won’t let me.”
~ “Oh, you don’t know how she gets!”
The truth is you’re afraid that you won’t be able to deal with the other’s reaction. So you pacify yourself, bury your real desire under layers of justification and victimization. You’re scared at the prospect of having to justify yourself to another – real or imagined – and cannot tolerate the thought of it.
So a piece of you dies. But you pretend not to notice, not to hurt, not to care. And this becomes habit. You extinguish your flame, withering like a rose in winter. And you get so used to numbing yourself that you forget who you were and what lit you up. You even make yourself sick without realizing it.
“It’s something I ate.”
“Mel sneezed on me yesterday.”
But it wasn’t the food, nor was it the sneeze. You got yourself sick. And with every choice you don’t make that may spark animosity in another you keep stabbing yourself with the blade of justification.
Is this how you’re living, not making waves? Trying not to rock the boat? Are you making yourself a slave to approval? Are you choosing to forgo your inner flame for fear of igniting another’s insecurity?
Or are you willing to let go of expectations and judgment from others who care more about how they’ll feel or look than your freedom to be you? Can you base your choices on what makes you happy? Are you willing to say NO to that with which you don’t agree? Do you have the balls to be the Master of you?
It’s not about stepping on anyone’s toes. It’s not about going against them, even when they seem to be against you. They’re not really against you; they’re afraid of their own power and terrified to see you in yours. But who’s to blame them? It happens to us all.
It’s about going your way when you know that’s the way for you to go. It’s about showing integrity to yourself first – and letting the chips fall where they may. You can’t give yourself if you don’t have yourself. It’s about being responsible for all your actions and their consequences.
Be yourself, as ridiculous, cheesy, vulnerable, and scared as you are.
This is where your power is.
This makes you your Master.
There’s no-one to blame for your choices – the ones you make, and the ones you don’t. Your freedom’s all on you.
* * *
Please comment below; I’d love to know what you’re thinking.
If you like what you’ve read, pass it on!
Curious about how coaching can help you get in the driver’s seat of your life?
Email me here.
Like & participate: www.facebook.com/FutureToPresent
Subscribe: click on “Subscribe to this Blog!” at the top right of this page to be notified whenever a new post is published.
Nice. Well written.
Thanks for reading!
So true Carli!
Thanks for reminding us…